I SING, I WRITE, I REGRET

Okay Full Disclosure Here,

Real talk time, and none of the Willy Wonka sugar-coating that goes with it either. Being an independent musician or artist in this day and age sucks. It absolutely sucks, and if I had it to do again, to be honest I probably wouldn't. It's a very difficult task in this crappy day and age to attempt to punch through a dark, culturally murky planet and keep the positivity required to create. To write, to sing, to draw, to paint, to create, to manifest, all of these things take a ton of courage, optimism and energy that is hard to manifest and it's difficult to keep that kind of momentum up with everything going on today. 

I recorded an album over a period of 5 years when I wanted nothing more than to give people (and myself) some happiness, and to share the happiness that music gives me with my fellow musician friends and the world. The response of course didn't turn out quite how I would have liked. It's a difficult task to garner an audience in a major city when you're an unknown singing upbeat, hoppy melodies with extensive saxophone solos. 

It's my music, and I truly love it I'm just not convinced that others share my opinion. There's long been a conversation since the beginning of the craft (any craft surely) as to whether art exists without an audience. There is always the strongly held opinion that you make art for yourself and if anyone else enjoys it than that's icing on the cake, however in today's economy I find that take rather classist and myopic. 

Of course you want and need people to enjoy your art, otherwise why not just pluck your little guitar in your bedroom or hang your coloured canvases in your painting in your sacred spaces and never share them with anyone? Art is yours until you share it, then it has a chance to belong to everyone. So YES, every artist wants an audience. I just hope one day I find mine.

Essy the Emo Esoteric...

The Music, The Mood, The Morose....

It's that time again, when the leaves fall from the trees with reckless abandon, when disturbing people blab on about a rather gross beverage from Starbucks and when those who honour Halloween as their favourite holiday, kvell and prepare in exaltation. 

Unfortunately it's also the start of SAD. It's literally called SAD, guys. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder is perfectly acronymed (that's not a word) to describe what we most dread, the end of summer. Those halcyon days of staying up too late watching some outdoor movie and crawling to work the next day on sunshine and a double latte are over. We've come to the end of the sunny run. Also, (and not unrelatedly) we have an Election coming due here in Canada and a few of the choices are quite grim. 

In light of these unpleasant concerns there are a multitude of reasons to want to a) hibernate b) cry c) hibernate and cry. (ASIDE: Definitely vote before you succumb to either of these things). For myself I'm choosing the more optimistic of the voting options that aligns with my values which is the New Democratic Party (NDP) and Jagmeet Singh, but in the interest of things going absolutely toe-up with the creepy, Mr.Sandman looking opposition, I have made this moody and emotive playlist for you to sip your tea  (wine) and stare out the miserable window to. 

Do not distress dear hearts, or if you must, distress along to this playlist and the following movies: Dirty Dancing Hairspray To All The Boys I've Loved Before Peace, Love and Misunderstanding Invincible. Sometimes it's important (after taking considerable action) to simply wallow in things to sit in miserable mire and meditation and really feeeeeel the pain and suffering. so enjoy the curated playlist chock full of Portishead, Jeff Buckley, Ben Harper, Charlotte Church, Amos Lee and some equally mercurial lovelies that may be new to you. Wallow my darlings wallow, then rise again and conquer!!